3.2.11, MBA Application Journey: Obstacles of Single Parenthood w/ US Air Force Major Roosevelt Loveless, Jr., Ordained Southern Baptist Minister, The "Other Parent"

Last night, I broke...I mean I literally just started crying while I was feeding my son. I love him sooo much. He said, "Mami' dont cry. It's okay." And, he patted my back, awwhh...such a sweet child. Man, this journey to getting an MBA with him has been both exciting and equally challenging for me while managing a FT Finance Career at Wells Fargo and Mothering him 200% by myself. Overwhelmed is an understatement. Frustrated is what I am! I'm just downright exhausted. I mean seriously. In this, is an opportunity for more healing and growth. Therefore, I have to reach into the pain….Again….and look to resolve that which has not been.What I want and need right now is for my son's other parent to take responsibility for his part, seeing my son 3-4x's a year is not enough.

June 2008

I wrote a post a few months back and basically disclosed some of the story: http://thejourneythroughmyself26.blogspot.com/2010/11/112110-writebreathelearn-lessons-4-my.html Right now, I have to address the anger I still feel presently from his lack of initiative towards being a father. And, I have to deal with the other aspect of anger it ignites in me b/c it is an issue. A friend of mines, who is working on his PhD in Psychology suggested I address the situation again b/c he feels there are still unresolved issues. So, here we go. As, I disclose the information mentioned below. I seek to find a resolution. This is my story. There is nothing pretty about it. I seek to gain nothing in telling it, other than the fact that it will hopefully challenge him to step up and be a man.

In retrospect, it has changed and created a stronger individual within me. I accept that I am in no way perfect. I have flaws. I grow. I learn. I move forward. This is me doing so, once again. I live. I breathe. I write. This is me. This is real. And, I want the ending to this to be a happy one for my son. I want the ending, regardless of what happened in the beginning, and how we got to where we are today, I want the end to be that my son has a strong loving relationship with his other parent. In order to do that, he has to commit to something other than himself.

Here we go. United States Air Force Major Roosevelt Loveless, Jr. (C-17 Pilot) is my son's other parent. In addition, Roosevelt Loveless, Jr. is a Southern Baptist Ordained Minister with a Master’s in Religion. His Father Roosevelt Loveless, Sr. is the Pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Morrow GA. Ironically, like Father like Son, he has fathered two other children outside of his marriage and not taken responsibility for them. It is indeed sad. Here, the question of why African American Men in large numbers make and abandon children, regardless of what their socioeconomic status is, is the pertinent question to ask? But, that is a whole other topic to address in a different post. Let me focus on one thing at a time. 

April 2009

My son is Roosevelt Loveless, Jr.'s 3rd child. Yes. Unfortunately, I am considered the 3rd Woman to Mother a Child with him. To my credit, upon our initial involvement, I was completely clueless about him having any children. He kept those very important aspects of himself a secret for 10yrs. I know, how does someone lie to a very “Dear Friend” for 10 yrs? I don’t know, ask him. He can’t even answer the question. Our relationship ended because he was cheating on me with his subordinate Airman Christina Turntine (i.e. "Mistress"). She continued an intimate relationship with him while I was living in his house when I was pregnant and after my I gave birth, while I lived in Charleston, SC. He began the relationship in 2006. I reported him to his Commander for Fraternization. What the results were? I am not sure. I do know he never ended the relationship.

I mention this information because it is the root of where the story began and how it has played out so far. I am the main character serving in the role of Single Mami’ Wonder Woman for almost 3.5yrs. I am focused on accomplishing a goal I established 3 Years ago. I had to deter my MBA b/c my son came. The other parent has only contributed financially, anything else is basically nonexistent, with exception of the 3-4x's a year. The pics show the time lapsed between visits. 



Fathers Day Wknd 2010



He has completed his Master’s and is working on a 2nd Master’s Degree. Shouldn’t he at this point say, hey, Rashida I know you want to get an MBA, what can I do to assist you? He makes bold statements, “I’ll take him for 3 Years”. Really, you see him 3-4x’s a year, am I supposed to just give him to you? Seriously??? His life holds no responsibilities whatsoever. This is where I am frustrated b/c I need help with my son so that I can spend extra time focusing on my GRE. So, that I can get into my school of choice (i.e. HBS/CBS). Am I studying? Yes. Am I committed to this MBA Journey? Yes. I am. And, I need help. I want him to help us. I want him to build a better relationship with my son. I want him to be someone my son can rely on. I want him to step up and be a man, a father to his child. The question is why won’t he do it? Ironically, of course he blames me. I assure you, I am not the reason he refuses to be a man. Am I a Bitch when dealing with him? Yes. And, rightfully so. But, even now, wasting my emotions on being one isn’t even worth my energy anymore. So, again...I come to a cross road. Where do I go from here? Or, how about, where do we go from here? Can the Real Man in him that accepts Responsibility for the life he created, PLEASE STAND UP? I AM NOT A MAN! What will happen? As for me, I will continue on my MBA Journey whether he Stands up or Not. We (my son and I) will get there. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON MYSELF. We will continue to live the beautiful life that I have created for us. For my son, I think it makes for a more wholistic exsistence if he has solid relationships with both of his parents. 

As Always…Be Luv even when it hurts,
Rashida