THE PASSIONS (Parenting And Finance)

There are 2 things that I love that are absolutely essential to life is my Love for Parenting and Finance!! Over the past few yrs of learning how to navigate the maze of single parenting, I learned eventually that the things that were important to me b4 becoming a Mami, were just as important to me after I became one.  The challenge was realizing that they were missing from my life as it slowly started to stack back up and feel like it was in order again.  

I love to dance to but, i wont be writing about it regularly. One of the things I was naturally born to do is Dance, I started taking Dance lessons very early on around 6/7 years old.  I can remember when Micheal Jackson's Thriller came out in the early 80s I had to be all of maybe 3/4, Friday nights in our house were dedicated to Music on the Record Player and Radio, and during his world preview, as the baby, I joined the rest of my family in the living room, shakin my little money maker and showin them what I was workin with lol.  And, since then, it has never parted from me, because we didn't dance teams I ended up expressing my love for music and dance through cheer leading well nto my college years.     

And, even now, after a became a Hawt Mami, I began sharing music with my child as soon as he could comprehend it. Then, once old enough to dance, of course I bestowed our classic "shake you booty" dance on the kid lol.  Music and dance is just as much a passion now that it was 30 years ago.  

So, as you evolve in your parenting, know that yes there are certain aspects of yourself that you have to give up naturally.  However, there are also certain core things that you will never have to change and you can share them with your children as they grow and instill the importance for having passion in something.  I swear you will get so much job from watching your kid at Hip Hop Dance Festival Break Dancin' and think to your self, "Wow, i taught the first Pop Lock Combo to my kid...Pretty Amazing!"

So my question to you Mami, is what have you been passionate about previously?  Recognize those things and incorporate them into your parenting.  It will make both of you extremely happy:-)!

XOXO

SINGLE MAMI'S RULE: THE TOP 5 TIPS 4 NAVIGATING SINGLE MAMIHOOD!

Hunnie, we dont just create, but our Badd Azz's make the world go round!  #JKI mean seriously, from birth on it is the women who bears most of the responsibility for your child whether you are married or not.  And, Single Mami's do that much more because we lack the traditional household structure.  Does that mean that you cant thrive being a Single Mami? Absolutely not.

Here are the TOP 5 TIPS I learned over the Past 7 Years that work hands down to make your life easier.

Rule #1 Thou Shalt Recognize Life Will Never Be The Same!

You were HAWT AND FABULOUS B4 that Kid....I get it, I know....however, there will become a time, where you will realize that you ARE STILL HAWT AND FABULOUS WITH THE DAMN KID!  So, embrace that ISH!  lol, Your life and priorities are completely different know that you are providing for your little one on your own.  So, all the fabulous parties, social outings, and conferences, date nights, all that stuff will have to be put on hold while you restructure your life and focus on the needs of your kid.  When you become a HAWT Mami, you are no longer first, the needs of your child are.  So, focus on rebuilding your life around the two of you and then you will notice as time goes on life will become easier to manage.  The first year of life is so very important, so your focus should be giving your little all the love, nourishment, and support.  I relocated to a brand new city and stayed at home with my son the first year of his life even though I was strapped tight financially.  I had saved enough to last me several months considering the fact that I knew I may not want to return to work immediately.  In doing that, I was able to give him everything he needed while we adjusted to our new life in the new city. We ended up having more than enough until I was ready to return back to work.   I did have to pinch pennies.  And, I did eventually finish navigating through the courts for child support.  But, those first few months were tight.  And, we made it out just fine.  with that being said, this lead me to my next point.   

Rule #2 Thou Shalt Pinch A Damn Penny****COINS, HUNNIE COINS***

When you become a HAWT Mami every penny counts, because they have so many needs. You don't have to be cheap, however you have to be financially conscious of every penny that you have.  In the process of that you want to slowly build up an emergency fund for those unexpected occurrences that happen b/c trust me, there will ALWAYS be Something Unexpected (i.e. trips to the dr that may turn into a week long hospital stay, getting sick, etc.)


Rule #3 Thou Shalt Build a Support System!

Live close to a support system (i.e. family, friends, college alum, sorority sisters, church members etc).  I have traveled a great deal over the past 3 years with my career, and I have found the cities that were most memorable and worked best for my lifestyle were the ones who provides some type of support for my lifestyle.  Its very challenging to go to new cities constantly traveling for work, so I always made sure that I utilized my network and the opportunity to reconnect with family and friends I had loss touch with through the years.  It create new opportunities for revived relationships to grow and begin a new chapter.  Often times, most of my friends and family had started having little ones around the same time i did, so that made it even better because now there was a chance for the whole family to bond with my circle.  #WINNING

Rule #4 Thous Shalt Find a Bomb Azz Babysitter

Naaahhh, i'm not talkin about "bomb azz" in Modernista she "snatched" terms.  I'm talking about Bomb in the fact that this chic is reliable, available when you need her, has adequate transportation, is responsible, has several reference,  cooks, cleans, changes diapers, schedules play dates and takes your kids out (on approved basis of course) when you will be away for long periods of time, and has undergone your rigorous, 3 Interview, 3-4 Reference Check, and thorough background Checks.....Now That's a Bomb AZZ Babysitter!!! You have to give your terms and conditions up front and let them know what you are looking for.  I often times find sitters by referrals, other times, i find them when i am at parks and I am observing them interact with a child for an extended period of time, this specifically applies to when I am in affluent areas that are close by.  More often times than not, this will be a Mami's helper that watches the kids while she shops and runs errands etc. And, if I like them before they leave, i'll ask them if they are taking on new clients and get their info and put them through the regular screening process.  It may sound like a lot, but trust me, you will be OVER PROTECTIVE about who is around your child 24/24....literally.

Rule #5 Thou Shalt Realize Shopping Will Never Be The Same!

Giiiiiiirrrrrllll, if you are used to spending money on Loubous, Jimmy Choos, Steve Madden's, Michael Kors, And J's....i'm here to tell you nothing will hit your wallet like the beautiful joy off bring life into this world! Lol, You know that spectacular effortlessly maintained wardrobe and shoe collection you keep as a young Modernista?  Hunnie, wave bye bye to those random shopping sprees jus to look good and cause u feel like it....hunnie BYE!  Those days are long gone....you will never again step into a store and think about yourself first. I hate to be the bearer of bad news its just the truth.  And, even when you make a shopping trip, purposely, for the sole point of buying yourself clothes you still will be unable to do it.....that whole saying"put yourself first"  goes completely out of the door and you will have to remind yourself that you are here to buy clothes for YOU! And, in that moment, you'll walk by something cute, and be like, OMG he/she would look so cute in that...i'm gonna go in here just 4 a sec....and i'm not buying anything, just looking."  30 mins later you come out with bags of stuff thinking how much money you saved and what a great deal that was lol....hunnie BYE! 

XOXO

11.9.10, Boyz Will Be Boyz (Joys & Challenges of The Single Mami)....THIS IS A PARENTHOOD POST!

So, it starts from an early age for boys (and girls, like me who were Tom Boys (wonder where that expression comes from lol). What? The Boys will be Boys Attitude, Gender Roles that they naturally progress to b/c of the testosterone pumping through their veins. Halloween Wknd, Costume day at School, My son was BuzzLightYear, “TO INFINITY & BEYOND!!!” I dropped him off with plans to go back for his Trick & Trunk (My costume=Woody), lol. I got to work, sat down. And, the phone call that no parent wants to get from their kids school came in. “Rashida, your son split his lip pretty badly. And, It looks like he’s going to need stitches. My Thoughts: ‘Awwwh, Dannnnngggg”!!. I immediately left work after telling my supervisor I need to go check on my son (Thank God For Understanding Supervisors!) It is important now & will be well after I finish My MBA.

I got there. He had Blood all over Buzz! It was bad. We went to his doctor first, she checked him. Then, she referred him to a plastic surgeon to get the stitches done. So, we went there. Let’s just say by the time it was all over, we were both crying & his face looked like a blown up balloon. This was my true induction into the “Boyz will be Boyz Society”. He was playing with his friends close to the computer table. They were jumping over each other??? And, he fell into the table. I am still trying to get a visual of how that played out in my head. But, I am just glad he is okay now. The school paid for it (clearly they were at fault). My question, was where was the teacher, while he was doing all of this. But, I digress. I do not have time for a lawsuit. This daycare has been excellent with his growth & development. We were able to still go on our trip to Nashville for my Alma mater’s Homecoming. I just dropped him off at home.

After this, I had flashbacks of when I first started to see him develop. I remember last year this time when I was dropping my son off at his day care. His friend, got there at the same time. And, they immediately ran to each other, hugged, and then proceeded to Push each other for play. And, I said, “heeey calm down you guys, play nice.” They were laughing the whole time, lol. Then, the more recent incident, when my son started growling at me??? He was about 17 Mths then. Fast forward to present day, 26 Mths…I was dropping him off at school. He ran into another friend Jeremiah, they hugged, then started growling at each other. Like a Light Bolt, it hit me, “that’s where he got that stuff from!” Euuugghh, I don’t like it one bit. But, the reality is that he is a Boy. Just my luck, He is very Much a Alpha Boy! I say all that to say my life is a balancing act. And, It helps when to have an understanding boss with young children, especially, when I work for such a large competitive bank. After this incident last week, I realized that while going through this process for MBA Applications, AGAIN….It is VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT I END UP AT A PROGRAM THAT WILL ASSIST ME IN WORK LIFE BALANCE FOR MY FAMILY. It is no longer just a want, but a NECESSITY! Well, that is all for now. I will post an update on my status soon, as I have to go back to the drawing board and see where I am. Also, I will post on the Inside The MBA Tour Event last Week.

As Always…Be Luv! Rashida